I am experiencing anger again,

I notice,

And it’s already May 4th.

I am looking up at the avocado tree

Not yet fattened in the summer sun

Green teardrops hanging down with a sheen

The light reflects off of them

As it bounces off of you and me.

it’s not yet summer

But almost there

Spring turned heat bearing down

In Florida the skies darken

Air thickens

Mosquitos fly in swarms against sheets of leaden cloud

I should read more,

I tell myself

Like the childhood of endless pages turned & eyes grown weak

I should try more,

I tell myself

Make something out of skills God-granted to me

I’ll pay attention more,

I decide,

Looking up at the big avocado tree.

in generations past

It might have lived in a forest

Symbiotic relationships as natural as a breath

Roots deeply buried,

Animals tending to the fruit and passing the seed

Pollinators sharing the gift of life.

I am angry again,

I notice,

Red-hot prickles lighting up my sternum

A heat that settles into dis-ease

The sky blooms with the evening sun down

Golden light comes rushing out

I wonder if the same can happen inside me

I am angry again,

I notice

Anger calls for courage, for purpose, to be freed

I am angry,

I’m moving,

I’m trying,

I’m soothing.

And here I am,

Looking up at the avocado tree